Friday, October 07, 2011

Feeling lost without my antagonist, my hunger

Sorry to keep posting on this. I'm sure it is the most boring topic.

Fifth day in a row. Basically a bowl of cream with some nuts for breakfast. No hunger all day. No lunch. No desire for lunch.

I was sitting outside in the afternoon sun waiting for a class to start. I have felt so strange these past few days. I suddenly realized why.

All my life my mind has been preoccupied with food because I'm always hungry. I think about what I'm going to eat next, where I'm going to find food if I go somewhere and get hungry, I pre-eat just in case I go somewhere without access to food. I also worry about food I've eaten. Did I eat too much? Will I get enough exercise to avoid getting fat? Suddenly I have no hunger. Suddenly I have nothing to think about.

I feel like an addict who has nothing to be addicted to anymore. It's shameful to admit, but I kind of feel lost.

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