My life is too full of lessons to learn. It is not easy.
Right now I'm struggling to maintain a sense of self-worth while not being as employed as I believe I ought to be at my age. It is a good struggle to be in because I have always struggled with that and if I can reach a sense of peace with myself while I exist in career limbo, I will have conquered this life-long bother.
I'm also struggling to follow my dreams. I've always wanted to hike the PCT. I am coming to realize, that hiking to Mt. Shasta means I didn't complete my goal. If I believe in following dreams, I ought to just behave as though I'm going to hike the PCT this summer. I will return in June. There. Now maybe I can get on with life knowing that I'm returning to the PCT.
All I need to do is train, make some plans, figure out what to sleep in during rain, go to my classes and work hard at them as if they really will lead to a good job, continue to believe everything will work out well for me in the mean time, and just stay positive during this period of being in limbo. Stop worrying.
I got a check for $450 today. That's just what it will cost to repair my pick-up truck. Earlier I got a check for $1000. That will pay my rent. If I believe it will all work out, maybe it will.