I made it out to one of my quickie backpack places on my list. I went to Matias Potrero.
It was really nice to spend some time back out in nature again. Doing something like hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, where you spend months living in nature, is hard to recover from. I think about the trail every day. It took me about a year to get used to our dry backcountry again. But I can't get used to "regular" life. The commercialism, the pointlessness, the destruction of beauty, simplicity and the natural world at every turn. I missed being the secret little wood nymph I felt like I was on the PCT, living in the forest, peering curiously at this modern world of machines and noise, then fading back into my forest home in relief where I could be alone with my bird friends. I really miss it. That's who I really am. I felt that again on this little overnight trip. The clarity of my thoughts returned and I was simply happy.
I was amazed how similar this trail was to the area around Agua Dulce on the PCT, especially the smells. I felt memories rushing back.
This may be a way to cope with modern life until the day I can escape it once and for all.
I wish it was easier to escape. Yesterday I saw some ducks in the river and it made me think how simple their lives are. They learn how to get food out of the water and then they spend the rest of their lives getting food, bobbing around in the water, resting on the rocks and going about the business of just being ducks. We make everything so complicated and difficult. You can barely survive. You can't just find food and eat it until you die. You have to hoard and work meaningless jobs and play a game until you can escape. I wish I could escape right now. I don't want to play that game anymore. I want to sleep serenaded by owls and frogs.