I am getting excited

I am getting excited about my hike. I might go to the Kick-off. I talked to Tony about it and he wanted to go. I told him if he wanted to hike Section A, we could do it if he wants. We could also not hike at all if that's what he wants. He said not hiking would be silly. I told him to decide what he wants to do and we'll do it. I really don't care what we do either way.

I read in my book today:

It's not about what you do, but about who you are. I came to understand that it was my willingness to face the truth about myself, and to show up as authentically as possible that would make the difference in having a meaningful life. I try to live from my core and my spirit, versus doing something because someone else might like it.

(Emphasis added.)

Since I've been home from the PCT I've been working part-time and temporary jobs. I started out making no income. Then I was making a couple of hundred a month. Then a few hundred more. Lately my income has been pretty good. Almost like money falls from the sky. I don't know how it happened, but I think it has something to do with just being who I am rather than worrying about what I do.

I'm reminded about a web page I found about a couple that decided decades ago to live a simple life and that to make it work has often relied on faith. You just have to trust that it will work out. It seems to be working out for me.

Here I am, getting ready to hike again, going to school, learning new things, my whale job was supposed to end but now we've got a ton of new work so it continues, checks came in the mail for my book and some other things, my freelancing work continues to bring in a tiny little bit here and there. It all keeps working out.

I now see my hike as being part of the flow of my life. I'll complete it this year. In the middle I've gotten to learn a few things about not defining myself by a glamorous job and about having faith that things will work out. After the hike, everything will continue to work out. The whales will still be there. School will still be there. Freelancing will still be there. Great jobs will still be there. I will still be there, forging on like always

So, feeling free and like I'm doing the right thing, I now feel much less ambivalent. I feel excited about getting back out there to complete the trail. I'm looking forward to it. It seems less like an escape from a bad situation and more like walking onward into the continuation of my life.

Trail Journals

I've decided to try Trail Journals this year for my hike. Here is the link to my trail journal.

Although I have not done a good job of this at all so far, I do plan not to write too much in my journal. I plan to keep the details on paper and put only a few highlights in the journal. Then if I write another book I won't have given it all away.

I may rue the decision to sign up for Trail Journals. Now I have this blog, my hiking web site blog and Trail Journals to keep updated. Thank goodness I like to write.

My proposed itinerary

This is my attempt at plotting my entire hike. As you can see, no zero days have been included, so these dates are not at all accurate. I also have decided that I will skip from Lone Pine to Tuolumne Meadows and from South Lake Tahoe to Quincy. If my mother is not in Alaska when I come through Chester, perhaps she can drive me ahead to Dunsmuir. However, I'm not going to plan this because I really enjoyed the Hat Creek Rim and Burney Falls and would not mind hiking there again.

Approximate Date	Location	Mile on the PCT
05/24/09	Santa Barbara
05/25/09	Blue Canyon
05/26/09	Matillija Creek
05/27/09	Beaver CG Sespe Creek
05/28/09	Sespe Hot Springs
05/29/09	Intersection Buck Creek
05/30/09	Cienega CG
05/31/09	On the PCT!
06/01/09	Hikertown	518.4
06/02/09	Tylerhorse Cyn	541.4
06/03/09	Tehachapi	558.3
06/05/09	Golden Oak Spring	583.4
06/06/09	Waterhole Mine	608
06/07/09	Bird Spring Pass	631.4
06/08/09	Walker Pass	651.4
06/09/09	Spanish Needle Group	673.2
06/10/09	Kern River	698.8
06/11/09	Kennedy Meadows	702.8
06/13/09	Cow Creek	719.4
06/14/09	Diaz Creek	741.2
06/15/09	Lone Pine	744.8
Bus to Tuolumne Meadows
06/16/09	Tuolumne Meadows	941.6
06/17/09
06/18/09
06/19/09
06/20/09	Bridgeport
06/21/09	East Carson River Trail	1027.6
06/22/09	Eagle Creek	1055
06/23/09	Pond-blessed Saddle	1080.3
06/24/09	S. Lake Tahoe	1094.5
Bus to Reno, then to Quincy
06/25/09	Near Q-LP Rd	1232.7
06/26/09
06/27/09
06/30/09
07/01/09	Chester	1335.8
07/02/09	Drakesbad	1354.2
07/03/09	Old Station	1377.7
07/04/09	Hat Creek Rim	1403
07/05/09	Burney Falls	1423.6
07/06/09	Clearcut	1451.7
07/07/09	Ash Camp	1476
07/08/09	Switchback	1498.9
07/09/09	Dunsmuir	1506.5
07/10/09
07/11/09
07/12/09
07/13/09
07/14/09	Etna	1606.3
07/15/09
07/16/09
07/17/09
07/18/09	Seiad Valley	1662
07/19/09
07/20/09
07/21/09
07/22/09	Ashland	1725
07/23/09
07/24/09
07/25/09
07/26/09
07/27/09	Crater Lake	1820
07/28/09
07/29/09
07/30/09
07/31/09
08/01/09	Shelter Cove Resort	1912.2
08/02/09
08/03/09
08/04/09
08/04/09
08/06/09	Sisters	2010
08/07/09
08/08/09
08/09/09
08/10/09
08/11/09	Cascade Locks	2154
08/12/09
08/13/09
08/14/09
08/15/09
08/16/09
08/17/09
08/18/09	White’s Pass	2302
08/19/09
08/20/09
08/21/09
08/22/09
08/23/09
08/24/09
08/25/09	Snoqualime Pass	2400
08/26/09
08/27/09
08/28/09
08/29/09
08/30/09	Steven’s Pass	2476
08/31/09
09/01/09
09/02/09
09/03/09	Stehekin	2574
09/04/09
09/05/09
09/06/09
09/07/09
09/08/09	Canada	2650

I feel ok about skipping the miles I have already done most of them. I do not want to still be hiking in October. I don't want to be out there that long and I know that Tony would not like it. I don't want to be away from him and my birds for so long. I don't like being away from them and I don't like knowing they don't like me being away, either. I will already be thinking about them and worrying about my selfishness. I don't need to drag that out longer than necessary.

I also feel ok about redoing some of the miles at the beginning. I need the miles to gain fitness and strength. And these are great miles to do right in the thick of the main group of hikers. I will get to go to Kennedy Meadows with all the hikers and enjoy hanging out with them. I hope that there will be other thru-hikers on the trail once I skip ahead so that I am not too lonely.

I also don't mind redoing some of the miles throughout because these were some of the places I liked best. I will get to see them again.

In thinking about what is important to me, being with other hikers was one of the bigger joys of the trip. So hopefully my itinerary preserves some of that. Maybe I will end up at the front of the pack in Oregon watching all the fastest hikers walk by me each day. That will work out fine.

Also, it is not important to me that I hike the entire trail in one season. It's not even possible at this point anyway, since I didn't do it last year and I wouldn't be planning to start at Campo again this year. What is important is that I will have hiked almost the entire trail in two years. I will have all those memories. I will get to be out there for many months, living the life of the vagabond. That is what I loved most. Living the life, not so much whether my steps were perfectly continuous.

And so here I am, full of anticipation and hope once more, ready to put myself through all the agony again.